As parents, I bet you’ve felt that wave of frustration when your child starts throwing a tantrum. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
But here’s the good news: tantrums are completely normal and happen to every child at some point.
Learning how to handle them not only makes life easier for your child but can also make your parenting journey a whole lot smoother.
Why Do Tantrums Happen?
Before diving into ways to stop tantrums, it’s important to understand why they happen.
Think about yourself—when you’re hungry, tired, or stressed, don’t you feel a little grumpy?
Now imagine being a toddler.
Children experience the same emotions we do, but they haven’t developed the tools to express or manage those feelings.
They don’t know how to say, “I’m frustrated because I can’t have that toy,” or “I’m upset because I’m tired.”
Instead, they let it all out in the only way they know how: through a tantrum.
It’s not bad behavior—it’s their way of saying, “I need help!”
Ways to Handle A Meltdown
1. Keep Calm and Carry On
I know it’s hard to stay calm when your child is screaming, yelling, and doing everything that makes you feel like you’re on edge.
It’s like nails scratching on a chalkboard—it’s enough to drive anyone up the wall.
But here’s the thing: if you’re yelling, telling your child to stop yelling, it doesn’t make any sense, does it?
Kids mirror our behavior.
If you want them to calm down, you need to set the tone.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself that this isn’t forever, and focus on staying composed.
Your calm energy can help your child feel more secure, even in the middle of their meltdown.
I’ve learned to take a moment to breathe or step back when frustration builds.
It’s helped me respond constructively instead of reacting emotionally, even in tough moments.
2. Don’t Give In, Even When It’s Tempting
Giving in to a tantrum might stop the crying, but it teaches your child that tantrums work.
If they yell and cry for another ice cream and you give it to them, they’ll keep using that tactic.
When my toddler wanted a second ice cream, I stayed firm and said, “No more for today.”
The tantrum happened, but the rule stayed intact.
Over time, they learned boundaries matter, even if they don’t always like them.
3. Distraction
Distraction is one of the simplest yet most effective tools in your tantrum-prevention kit.
By shifting your toddler’s focus to something new or exciting, you can often steer them away from frustration and onto something more positive.
For example, if they insist on buying that toy, try focusing their attention on something else they’d enjoy.
Ask, “Hey, do you want to help Daddy pick out the ice cream flavors?”
Or you can do what I’ve done when I see signs of an angry tornado brewing: saying “Come on, you can cry better than that!”
It’s confused so many kids into stopping, and honestly, it’s kind of hilarious.
4. Step Into Their Tiny Shoes
Toddlers don’t have the tools to handle frustration or disappointment, but empathy can bridge the gap.
Showing them you understand their feelings often calms them faster than anything else.
I’ve found that saying something as simple as “I get it—it’s hard when we have to leave the park” can turn things around.
Even if they’re still upset, they often calm down faster when they feel heard.
5. Give Them Words for Their Feelings
Tantrums often happen because toddlers can’t articulate what they’re feeling.
By helping them label emotions, you’re giving them tools to express themselves constructively.
My toddler once screamed “BAD!” repeatedly when he was mad.
We started practicing, “I feel mad” instead. Over time, he stopped yelling and started using his words (well, most of the time).
6. Ignore Strategically
Sometimes the best response is no response. Ignoring works well for attention-seeking behaviors or tantrums that escalate when you engage.
I remember my son screaming in a store while I pretended to browse.
The stares were brutal, but eventually, he stopped, and we moved on.
7. Reinforce Positive Behavior
Catching your child being good is just as important as managing their tantrums.
Praising positive behavior shows them what you want more of, and toddlers love to please when they feel encouraged.
I keep stickers or small rewards handy for these moments.
My daughter lights up when I say, “You did such a great job sharing today—here’s a sticker for your chart!”
8. When Tantrums Happen in Public
Having a child screaming and yelling in public can feel like the ultimate nightmare.
All those eyes on you can make the moment even more overwhelming.
Think about it this way: many people around you are parents too.
They’ve been there.
They understand.
The rest? Well, they’ll probably forget about it by the time they’ve finished their shopping.
Focus on your child, not the crowd.
Whether that means calmly ignoring the tantrum, using distraction, or offering a soothing word, trust that you’re doing your best.
The Bottom Lines
As a parent, you often face a choice: doing what’s easy or doing what’s right.
And let’s be honest—you can’t always do both.
It’s tough watching your child cry or yell during a tantrum.
So, choose what’s right.
Stay calm, set boundaries, and always take a moment to talk with your child after a meltdown.
For more tips, check out this helpful video: