Do you remember how discipline was handled when we were kids?
As an Asian ex-kid, spanking wasn’t uncommon for me.
While it was the go-to then, I’ve realized there’s a more effective way to handle those toddler tantrums and meltdowns.
Let’s talk about disciplining toddlers in a way that works (and keeps you sane).
1. Expect Nothing and Stay Calm
Toddlers aged 1-3 can be a handful.
They don’t understand most of what you’re saying, and they can’t pick up on your frustration or anger the way an adult would.
I’ve been there, standing in the bathroom waiting with her toothbrush in hand, while my kid acted like it was the worst thing ever.
But here’s the thing—they’re not ignoring you on purpose.
They’re just…toddlers.
What’s worked for me is keeping things super simple.
Forget long explanations; they’re not tuning in for that.
I’d say something like, “When the timer beeps, it’s toothbrush time!” and then actually use the timer.
If they still don’t cooperate? Stay calm, pick them up, and help them out.
Even if she resists or ignores you, it’s okay.
She hasn’t failed, and neither have you.
Brushing her teeth isn’t a reflection of your parenting skills or your relationship, and do not take anything personally.
She’s learning about routines, listening, and what’s important.
It doesn’t have to be perfect tonight—what matters is consistency over time.
2. Be Consistent (Even When It’s Hard)
This one’s tough.
Following through every single time feels impossible some days, but it’s the only way they learn.
I’ve said, “If you throw your food, there’s no dessert tonight,” and then had to follow through, dealing with those epic tears afterward.
It’s tough seeing your kids in tears, but maybe next time that food will stay on the plate.
Natural consequences are a lifesaver, too.
Don’t want to wear a coat?
Fine, let them feel the cold for a second (just don’t let them freeze out there).
They’ll come back asking for it, no argument is needed.
The trick is to avoid empty threats.
If you’re not gonna do it, don’t say it.
Toddlers can sniff out inconsistency like it’s their job.
3. Redirect and Distract
Sometimes you’ve just got to redirect that chaos.
When my kid is mid-tantrum because I won’t let him eat crayons, I’ll say something silly like:
“Wait, did you hear that? Was that an elephant outside?”
Sometimes they would get distracted and they’ll forget about it later.
And instead of “Don’t jump on the couch!” (which only makes them jump harder), try flipping it to something positive like, “Let’s see how high you can jump on the floor!”
They’ll love the challenge, and you’ll save your couch cushions.
Oh, and don’t forget to hype them up when they do something right.
Even if it’s tiny, like putting a sock in the hamper, say, “Nice work!” They eat that stuff up.
4. Show Empathy and Pick Your Battles
When it comes to disciplining toddlers, not every moment has to turn into a big teaching moment.
Sometimes, it’s more about taking a step back, showing a little empathy, and figuring out what’s really worth your energy.
Toddlers are like little emotional roller coasters—they feel everything 200%.
Sometimes they just need you to say, “Yeah, I get it. You’re mad because your banana broke in half. That’s tough.”
It doesn’t fix the banana, but it helps them feel understood.
And honestly? Not every battle is worth it.
Want to wear pajamas to the park? Go for it.
Want to eat a PB&J in your Batman mask? Have at it.
Save your energy for the bigger stuff, like making sure they don’t bolt into traffic.
The Bottom Lines
I hope this gives you some helpful ideas about disciplining a toddler.
And if it does, that’s awesome—you’re already on the right track.
But let’s be real: figuring out how to guide our kids isn’t something anyone masters after reading one article (especially from some random guy like me).
It’s okay not to have it all figured out. None of us do.
Parenting is full of trial and error, and it’s all about showing up, learning as you go, and doing your best.
You’re not alone in this, and honestly, there’s no “perfect” way to handle something as beautifully chaotic as raising a little human.