Let’s read a heartfelt story shared by a dad about the power of a 20-second hug:
“I started giving ’20-second hugs’ when they were young. I don’t remember how it started, but they liked it when they were little.
We did it to celebrate, sometimes to say goodnight.
Sometimes, when they got very frustrated—after a scolding, for example—it was simple.
I liked the moment of calm that came after a few seconds. It was great.
But the real value came as they got older into their teens and now 20s.
Sometimes they’d ask for a favor, and I’d agree if they gave me that 20-second hug.
If they didn’t get me a Father’s Day gift (basically every year), I’d say, ‘No worries, I just want a good 20-second hug.’
It was a semi-joke, but it was also real.
When my son leaves for a long time (college, a move, etc.), and we hug goodbye, I simply say, ‘20-second hug,’ and they oblige.
It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is SO MEANINGFUL.
This will now continue until I pass, I’m sure.
It doesn’t happen often anymore, but when it does, it is a reminder to both of us about where we’ve been and the lasting support and love we have.
If we didn’t start when they were young, I can’t imagine them giving long hugs as they got older.
Now, it is the single most valuable 20 seconds of my life.
Good luck, young dads.”
Does It Actually Do Anything?
Science backs this up, guys.
A 20-second hug releases oxytocin. It’s the hormone that builds trust and bonds people.
Hugs have this amazing ability to melt stress away.
When you’re hugged, your body releases oxytocin, which reduces levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), basically flipping your body’s “chill” switch.
After a tough day, a hug can feel like an instant reset.
From Little Kids to Full-On Adults
When your kids are little, hugs come naturally.
But as they grow older, things can change.
Hugs might feel less natural—maybe even a little awkward—especially as they navigate their teenage years.
That’s why it’s so important to let your 20-second hug grow and adapt along with them.
When they were small, it was a fun thing—something we did to say goodnight, celebrate little wins, or just because.
As they got older, it became more of a running joke.
If they need a favor or forget a special occasion, turn the hug into a playful “payment”.
This keeps the connection fun and approachable, even as they start to pull away a bit.
Over time, though, it became something more—a way to stay connected when life got busier.
By the time they reached their 20s, it wasn’t about jokes or routine anymore.
These 20 seconds may seem small, but they carry a message your kids will always remember: that no matter how much things change, the connection between you stays strong.
Making 20 Seconds a Meaningful Habit
You don’t need a special reason or perfect moment to start this tradition.
The beauty of a 20-second hug is that it fits into everyday life without needing a big production.
Whether it’s a quiet moment after a long day, a quick goodbye before school or work, or even a way to make up after an argument, it works.
It’s also a tradition that can be personalized.
Maybe it’s your way of saying “I’m proud of you” after your kid nails something big.
Or perhaps it’s how you reconnect when words feel too heavy or hard to say.
What matters is the intention: making those 20 seconds about presence and connection.
A Note for the Dads Out There
Listen, dads: hug your kids. Especially your sons.
They need to know it’s okay to show love and feel loved.
It’s easy to assume they’ll “just know” how much you care, but sometimes, you have to show it.
Those moments, like a simple 20-second hug, leave an impression that lasts far longer than you realize.
As someone who’d give anything for one more hug with my dad, I can tell you this—these moments matter more than you’ll ever realize.
So, young dads, start now.
Those 20 seconds can be the best thing you ever give or get.