Everyone talks about how life turns upside down when the baby arrives—sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and trying to remember when you last ate a warm meal.
But what no one warns you about is the first chaos: the nine months of pregnancy.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad.
It’s exciting, awe-inspiring, and a little mind-blowing when you think about it.
But it’s also a time when everything changes—for her and for you.
So, if you’re about to start this journey as a dad, here are a few things to know to make those months a little smoother for both of you.
Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash
1. Pregnancy Might Be Hard For Both
If your wife says she loves being pregnant, she’s one of the lucky ones.
For many women, it can be chaotic—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
One dad shared how his wife “developed an alternate personality,” where the smallest things set her off.
As a partner, you’ll witness it all up close: the nausea, the sleepless nights, and those moments when she glares at you like, “This is your fault.” And honestly, she’s not wrong.
But it’s not about solving things—it’s about being there for her and being empathetic.
For example, she might groan as she struggles to get off the couch and say, “I feel like a whale.” The worst response can be “It wasn’t that bad!”
Instead, try something like, “I know it’s hard. You’re doing amazing, and I’m here to help with whatever you need.”
Pregnancy isn’t easy for you either, watching your partner go through discomfort can leave you feeling helpless.
That’s normal.
It’s hard for both of you—just in different ways.
For a better idea of what this looks like, here’s a relatable take on why pregnancy can be tough for women:
The best thing you can do is be there for her.
Listen, be empathetic, and step up to do whatever she needs.
2. Weight Gain Is A Touchy Subject
There will come a time when your partner steps on the scale and sees a number that makes her gasp.
For us, it was during a routine checkup. My wife stepped on the scale, saw the number, turned to me, and said, “Well, I guess I’ve really packed it on, huh?”
The med assistant laughed nervously; I broke eye contact with everyone.
Lesson learned: Weight gain is a part of pregnancy, but it’s not your job to comment unless you want to sleep on the couch.
What is your job?
To be supportive.
Tell her she looks amazing, even if she doesn’t believe you.
And when she’s craving Nutella-covered Oreos at 2 a.m., don’t ask questions.
Just deliver.
3. Libido
Pregnancy can throw intimacy for a loop.
With our first, we had more time and energy to connect, but by the second pregnancy?
Exhaustion won.
Between her back pain, swollen feet, and a toddler who never seemed to sleep, romance was… let’s just say, rare.
And that’s okay—it’s part of the season of life you’re in.
Then there’s the breast situation.
Pregnancy changes everything about them—they might look different (and yes, amazing), but they’re also sensitive, sore, and completely focused on baby prep.
So, touching?
Probably not on the menu.
On top of that, a woman’s libido during pregnancy can ebb and flow.
Some days, she might feel close and connected; other days, she’s too exhausted or uncomfortable to even think about it.
If she’s not in the mood, don’t take it personally.
Instead, you can pivot to other ways of showing love, like cuddling on the couch, giving her a foot massage, or just holding her hand.
4. Plan a Vacation While You Still Can
If your schedule and budget allow it, plan a trip now. Seriously.
Once the baby comes, travel will feel like organizing a military operation.
The first trimester might be rough, but the second?
That’s prime time.
When my wife was four months pregnant with #1, we went to the Philippines and hiked an active volcano.
Not gonna lie, I felt like we were pretty badass back then.
These days, with a 6-year-old and a toddler?
A trip to the grocery store feels like an expedition.
So book that trip, eat good food, and enjoy sleeping in.
It’ll be a while before your mornings are free of diaper changes and Peppa Pig marathons.
5. Every Pregnancy is Different (So Roll With It)
No two pregnancies are the same, and it’s best to throw out the idea that there’s a “right” way to do things.
There will be days when you feel like superheroes (hiking volcanoes, planning nurseries), and days when eating takeout on the couch feels like a win.
So it goes.
Roll with the flow, and you’ll figure out what works for your family.