We might live in different countries, but when it comes to the little white lies we tell our kids, we’re all on the same team.
I’ve gathered some of the funniest and most relatable “facts” that parents everywhere are terrified their kids will uncover one day.
Let’s keep our fingers crossed that day doesn’t come anytime soon!
1. That the food doesn’t actually have bugs in it.
To get kids to brush their teeth every day, some parents tell them little bugs from their food stay behind unless they brush them away.
It’s gross enough to work, but one day they’ll realize it’s all just a clever scare tactic.
2. The playground swings don’t have a time limit
“Oh no, we have to give the swing a break so it doesn’t overheat!” But what happens when they figure out it’s just me overheating?
3. YouTube doesn’t just break like that.
I’ve told the kids YouTube broke and the repair man hasn’t had time to come fix it yet. Took a few days and he’s stopped asking for YouTube entirely 🤣
4. The snacks I’m eating aren’t actually spicy.
Sometimes they really cannot have the food and sometimes I just want to enjoy chips in peace.
5. Mommy and Daddy did, in fact, have enough money to buy that toy.
This lie is my lifeline during grocery trips. They believe that we’re always “saving up for something important,” and honestly, I’m not ready for the day they realize I’m just trying to get through the checkout line in one piece.
6. Parents get to stay up past bedtime (theoretically)
I tell them their brains need extra sleep to grow strong and healthy. When they ask about mine, I say, “Daddy’s brain is already done for—don’t make the same mistakes!”
You know, if you can’t be a good example, you can serve as a terrible warning!
7. The pet goldfish doesn’t “go out for a walk” when it’s replaced
Pet goldfish don’t have a long lifespan, and some parents, wanting to spare their children’s feelings, choose to stretch the truth.
Eventually, though, someone might catch a parent in the act of swapping out “Goldie-the-fish-who’s-been-alive-for-four-years” from the tank.
8. There isn’t a secret toy fairy that gives extra toys for good behavior
Hope they will not soon figure out the toy fairy looks suspiciously like me with a credit card.
9. That Santa/Fairy isn’t real.
I can’t believe the look on their faces when they find out, it could be heartbreaking though that all the magic is gone.
10. That “teddy bear will eat all the monsters” when they’re sleeping is just a lie
For now, it gives them the courage to drift off peacefully. But one day, they’ll figure out teddy is just a stuffed animal—and I’ll need a new plan for bedtime fears.
11. Their favorite stuffed animal isn’t in “school” when it’s in the wash
I’ll never forget the time I was caught red-handed tossing “Mr. Bunny” into the dryer.
12. Band-Aids don’t actually “cure” everything
Right now, a Band-Aid is a magic fix for any bump, scratch, or imaginary boo-boo. I dread the day they ask how it really works.
13. Elevators don’t break if you press all the buttons
My “one-button-only rule” is the only thing keeping us from a floor-to-floor tour every time.
14. Ice cream vans don’t play music because they’re out of ice cream/ The ice cream van isn’t actually the “music van.”
One day, they’ll figure out it’s not just driving around playing music for fun—it’s full of ice cream. And when that day comes, my peaceful walks in the park are officially over.
15. When I get to “three,” I have no idea what I’m actually going to do.
For now, the countdown works like magic. But one day, they’ll realize there’s no grand consequence waiting at the end, and I’ll be completely out of options.
16. They don’t have to eat broccoli to “scare monsters away”
Convincing picky eaters that broccoli’s smell keeps monsters at bay is pure parenting gold—solving dinner battles and bedtime fears all at once.
17. Baby Shark is not a “school song” and it can be played at home/ The car radio doesn’t “only work for grown-up music”
Sometimes kids put their favorite song on and normally I don’t have any problem with that. But there are specific songs that I would not allow in my home, it’s for my sanity.
18. That adults can’t actually tell if they’re lying or not.
Sometimes, they spill the truth just because I’ve told them that lying makes their nose grow longer or a star appears on their head—something only adults can see.
19. You don’t need a special “license” to operate the remote control
It’s been years of me convincing them only adults have the “training” for Netflix. Please don’t tell them otherwise.
20. TV does not need to rest
Sometimes, before bedtime, they’ll sweetly say good night to the TV because I’ve told them it needs rest—or it might explode.
21. Their toys would still be there if they don’t clean
To get kids to clean up after playtime, parents often resort to creative fibs. A popular one? Claiming that a goblin sneaks in at night to take away all the toys left out. It’s a harmless trick, but you can bet it gets those toys picked up fast.
22. They won’t actually turn into a mushroom if they don’t shower.
Bath time can be a battlefield, and some parents get inventive. I’ve heard of someone telling their kids that their older sibling turned into a mushroom for refusing to bathe—and they even added a mushroom photo to the family album for proof.
23. Characters do not go to sleep at night/go on vacation.
Imagine telling the kids there’s no Dora at home because she went on vacation and they’ll eventually find out they can still see Dora at a friend’s house.
24. That I know where that toy is/That toy doesn’t suddenly break
Sometimes parents say they don’t know where a toy is to dodge the noise, mess, or drama it might bring.
Or maybe the toy’s lost or broken, and it’s just easier to say, “I’m not sure,” than deal with a meltdown right then
25. That the ocean will rarely be closed
Sometimes it’s just too cold to let the kids play outside, so parents will say the ocean is “closed.”
But it can actually be closed—like when there’s bad weather, sharks, or an oil spill—so I guess it’s not completely a lie after all.
The Bottom Lines
Besides the little white lies, there are moments in life when being honest with your kids is important—especially when they’re old enough to handle the truth.
It’s worth considering what situations call for a lie, whether it’s necessary, and when honesty is the better choice.
Honestly, I don’t remember being lied to much as a kid. Maybe my parents were just too lazy to come up with excuses!