The other day, a friend told me about his first-time tablet mistake. His kids had never used an iPad before, but on a long flight to their grandma’s house, he handed them one to keep them entertained. And wow, did it work—they were glued to it the whole time, quiet as can be.
But then they got home. Now, all his kids want is more tablet time. They whine, beg, and meltdown if they don’t get it. What started as a simple way to survive a flight turned into a struggle to reclaim their pre-iPad lives.
Don’t get me wrong—technology isn’t the enemy. Screens can be amazing tools for learning about the world. But without clear rules, they can quickly take over.
If you’re in the same boat or worried about getting there, here are some lessons dads wish they’d learned before their kids became hooked on screens
1. Set Limits from Day One
Decide how much screen time is allowed—30 minutes after school, an hour on weekends—and stick to it. No exceptions. Kids thrive on routine, and starting early makes it easier to manage when they ask for more later.
If they throw a tantrum because they want extra time, don’t cave. Giving in just teaches them that meltdowns work. Stay calm, stick to your rules, and ride it out. I believe that over time, they’ll adjust, and screen time will fit naturally into the family routine.
2. Make Screen Time Earned
Screens aren’t free, they’re rewards. Tie them to responsibilities or goals:
- Clean your room for 30 minutes of tablet time.
- Finish your homework, then play a game for 20 minutes.
- Read for an hour, and you can watch a show.
This teaches kids that screens come after taking care of priorities and helps them balance screens with other important tasks.
Pro Tip: Be crystal clear about what they need to do to earn their screen time, and stick to it. No wishy-washy “Maybe later” promises—that’s a surefire way to spark arguments. And when they do earn it? Deliver the reward right away. It builds trust and reinforces the habit.
3. Prioritize Content Quality
Not all screen time is created equal. A 30-minute video call with grandma isn’t the same as 30 minutes spent playing GTA V. It’s not just about how much time they’re on a screen—it’s about what they’re actually doing with it.
On a rainy day, if they need to burn off some energy, I’m okay with dance videos on YouTube, as long as they’re actually dancing along. And there are times when it’s fine to let them zone out and relax—on those days, Bluey is my go-to.
They don’t have unlimited access to screens. Tablets are off-limits, and when they do get to use our phones—usually during long flights or car rides—it’s for no more than an hour at a time. Letting them have unsupervised screen time in their room? That’s a rare exception, maybe five times a year tops.
The point is, it’s about quality over quantity. Screens aren’t the enemy when you’re intentional about what they’re exposed to.
4. Lead by Example
We need to show our kids that they matter more than the screen. When we make time for them, they naturally gravitate toward us instead of their tablets.
I’ll admit, limiting screen time isn’t easy—especially for someone like me who works online all day. But I’ve started a simple ritual: after I close my laptop, I spend 30 minutes taking my kid to the nearby park. It’s refreshing to step outside, and it reminds both of us that there’s a whole world to enjoy beyond the screen.
Put your phone down. Take them outside, play board games, go for a walk. Be intentional with your time.
Kids copy what they see. If they see you scrolling, they’ll want to do the same. If you show them that real-life activities are fun, they’ll follow.
Is It Really That Harmful?
It depends, but one thing to be sure of is that parents watching media together with their kids can help protect them from a lot of the downsides of screen time.
If you’re curious about the psychological effects of screens on children, this article from the American Psychological Association provides an insightful look into how screens are shaping kids’ development: What do we really know about kids and screens?