Are you a good dad?
Honestly, the bar for being a “good dad” is embarrassingly low. It blows my mind how little effort it takes to get praise, change a diaper? Hero. Wear a tiara for five minutes? Incredible. Spend a full day solo with the kids? Dad of the year.
But just how low is the bar? Here’s a story that proves the point.
Storytime
“Yesterday we had my daughter’s birthday at an indoor playground. She got a very nice tiara from her grandma that she wore to the party and looked like a princess.
We went into the play area and she took it off and handed it to me so she wouldn’t break it. I just put it on my head because, where else does a tiara go? Completely forgot about it.
15 minutes later some mom and grandma come sit next to us and instantly look at me. The grandma asks what bet I lost to have to wear it in public. I laughed and said being a dad. The mom then praised me for being a good dad, her husband would never do that, especially in public. They were so impressed that I wasn’t ashamed or something.
It always blows my mind how low the previous generations left for us. Change a diaper, wear a tiara, have a day just you and the kids… Bar raisers”
Why Is the Bar So Low?
Right now, the bar for being a “good dad” is practically on the floor.
Historically, dads were seen as providers while moms handled most of the nurturing. That’s why people still act shocked when a dad changes a diaper, it’s leftover thinking from the past. But times have changed. Dads today aren’t just working while moms do everything at home. We have the opportunity (and responsibility) to be fully involved in our kids’ lives.
And yet, somehow, people still seem surprised when a dad actually parents his own kids. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken my kids to the playground alone and someone says, “Oh, you’re babysitting today?” No. It’s not babysitting. It’s called being a dad. Do we really still think a dad taking his own children to the park is some kind of heroic act?
For too long, dads have had an easy way out, society has let us believe that our job ends after work, while our partner handles everything else. But that’s not just unfair to them, it’s unfair to our kids. They deserve dads who show up in every way.
Let’s Raise the Bar
Parenting isn’t a pick-and-choose job. You don’t get to step back just because something is uncomfortable. Think about why you chose to be a parent in the first place—this is about responsibility, not convenience.
Yes, some parenting tasks are uncomfortable. Waking up at 3 AM for a crying baby? Exhausting. Cleaning up a diaper explosion? Disgusting. Helping with school projects when you’re dead tired? Annoying. But guess what? That’s parenting.
You don’t get extra credit for doing the basics. Changing diapers, cooking meals, helping with homework, these aren’t “helping out,” they’re just what a dad should do. Imagine if moms got the same level of praise for these things. “Wow, she fed her child today! What an amazing mother!” It would sound ridiculous.
A real dad steps up. Play princess dress-up with your daughter. I don’t care if you’re the manliest man that has ever man, if a little girl invites you to a tea party, you go to that tea party. Cheer at your son’s sports event. Pick them up from school. Be there, not because it’s expected, but because it matters.