Do you still remember a promise your parents made when you were a kid?
I sure do. I’m in my 30s now, but I can still hear my mom saying, “Be good, and I’ll take you to Disneyland.” That promise lit up my tiny 5-year-old soul. (Still waiting on that trip, Mom.)
If you’ve ever promised your kids something—anything—you already know the drill.
Mention ice cream once, and you’re signing an unbreakable, legally binding contract in their eyes.
It’s your promises they’ll hold you accountable to for eternity.
Why Are Kids So Good at Remembering Promises?
Let’s get one thing straight: kids only remember the good (or bad) stuff.
Tell them, “Don’t let me forget to grab toothpaste,” and they’ll forget before you finish the sentence.
But promise to take them to Disneyland or buy them a new toy? Suddenly, their memory is sharper than a spy’s on a secret mission.
This isn’t some fluke of nature. It’s science! Kids’ memories are powered by something called emotional memory.
When you promise them something exciting—like a trip to the aquarium or a unicorn (yes, I’ve made that mistake)—it’s linked to their emotions.
Excitement, joy, and anticipation create a perfect cocktail that locks the promise into their brains forever.
The “Selective Memory” Phenomenon
Here’s where it gets wild: this emotional memory thing is highly selective.
- Exciting promises? Locked in the vault.
- Basic life stuff? Good luck.
It’s like their brains have a filter. The promise of Disneyland gets past the filter, but your repeated requests to “Please don’t put peanut butter in your hair” are left out.
It’s Not Just Kids—We’re All Wired This Way
Before we start feeling smug as adults, let’s admit we do this too.
For example, can you remember the exact date you went to Starbucks last month?
Probably not. But can you remember how you felt when your crush texted you back 10 years ago? Yup, clear as day.
Our brains prioritize emotional memories because they feel important. For kids, a promise isn’t just a promise—it’s a life event.
The Golden Rule of Promises (and How to Avoid a Meltdown)
Kids don’t forget promises, so don’t make one unless you’re 100% sure you can keep it. When in doubt, use the magic phrase “We’ll see.”
- Kid: “Can we go to the zoo this weekend?”
- You: “We’ll see.”
- Translation: Probably not, but I’m dodging tears for now.
If a promise does fall through, be honest and proactive.
Instead of waiting for the heartbreak, dramatic wails, and the soul-piercing “But you prooooomised!” meltdown, say something like, “I know I promised the park, but things changed. Let’s plan for Saturday. How about a movie night tonight instead?”.
The Takeaway
Kids never forget our promises because those moments are pure magic to them.
When you promise something exciting, you’re not just making plans—it’s a bond of trust and a source of joy, anticipation, or comfort.
So the next time you find yourself casually agreeing to a spontaneous Disneyland trip or a puppy (yikes), just remember: you’re playing with fire.
Think it through. And when in doubt, there’s always “We’ll see.”
If you can’t deliver, being honest and offering a thoughtful alternative can make all the difference in how they remember the moment.