Before marriage, it was just you. Then came husband (wife) and later, dad (or mom). It’s easy to let the “parents” part take over, but don’t lose yourself in the mix.
You still need you.
Make time for what you love—have a beer, hang with friends, read, game, or whatever keeps you grounded. And don’t forget your partner. It’s easy to slip into “co-parent mode,” but your relationship needs love and effort too.
Flirt, date, connect—you both need it.
1. Realistic Solutions for Dads and Moms
Time-Blocking
Carve out small, manageable windows of time for yourself—15 to 30 minutes a day is realistic.
For example, wake up 30 minutes earlier for a peaceful coffee and book a session or take a walk during your lunch break while working from home.
Tag-Team Parenting
Sit down with your partner and plan times when each of you can have solo time.
For example, one parent can take the kids to the park on Saturday mornings while the other has uninterrupted time at home or out.
Alternate these roles weekly so it’s equitable. The key is open communication to avoid resentment.
Outsource When Possible
Lighten your mental load where you can. Use grocery delivery or hire a babysitter for a couple of hours.
If you have family or trusted friends nearby, arrange a babysitting swap—one night they watch your kids, and the next week, you return the favor.
Micro-Moments
These are small but powerful. Enjoy a cup of coffee without multitasking, listen to your favorite podcast during the kids’ nap time, or take 10 minutes to stretch or meditate before bed.
These tiny breaks add up and can give you the mental reset you need.
2. Making It Guilt-Free
Talk About It with Your Partner
Your partner needs to be fully on board with this plan. If you’re stepping out for “me time,” ensure they’re not left overwhelmed with all the chores and parenting.
Balance is key—one person shouldn’t bear the load while the other relaxes.
Before going out, you may want to ask yourself: “Does my partner get equal chances to relax?” If you’re planning regular nights out, ensure they have the same “me-time” without kids.
That balance builds trust and eliminates guilt for both parties.
Alternating Nights
Having a system where each parent gets one night off per week or per month is a game changer.
One time you might hang out with friends, and the next time it’s your partner’s turn to do something they love.
3. Ideas for “Me Time” Activities
Once a month, my wife and I each take a free evening, starting at 5 PM and going as late as we want. With a 2- and 4-year-old, it’s been a total sanity-saver.
Whether it’s meeting up with friends, hitting the gym, or simply enjoying a cold beer, that time feels like pressing a much-needed reset button.