About the “Alpha Male” Thingy…
If I hear one more guy say “be an alpha” like it’s some kind of man figure, I might just start barking at them. Seriously.
For some reason, a bunch of dudes online have convinced themselves that being a man is about dominating every situation, taking a cold shower, eating raw liver, never showing emotion, and pretending to be some kind of lone wolf leader. The only problem? The whole “alpha male” thing isn’t even real. It was based on a debunked study on captive wolves, but that didn’t stop certain podcasters from selling it as the ultimate guide to manhood.
Instead of explaining all of this in detail, I’ll let a YouTube video handle it—because I promise you, someone has already ripped this nonsense apart better than I ever could.
Here’s the truth that I swear by, raising a son isn’t about turning him into a so-called “alpha male” It’s about raising a strong, kind, and responsible human being
What Strength Actually Means
So, if being a man isn’t about being an “alpha,” then what is it about?
Here’s the thing, real strength has nothing to do with dominance. It’s not about making others submit or being the loudest in the room. That’s just insecurity wrapped in a tough-guy act.
True strength to me is doing the right thing, even when it’s hard. It’s about standing up for yourself and others, not because you’re looking for a fight, but because it’s the right thing to do.
A strong man doesn’t need to prove himself by tearing others down. If your son only feels powerful when he’s making someone else feel small, you haven’t raised a strong man, you’ve raised a weak one with an ego problem.
Boys Don’t Cry? Shut Up.
Do you ever notice how the guys who bottle up their emotions the most are also the ones who explode over the smallest things? That’s me, and I’ve learned the hard way.
That’s because suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away, it just makes them come out in worse ways later.
We need to stop teaching boys that emotions are something to be ashamed of. There is nothing weak about feeling things. In fact, the strongest men I’ve ever known were the ones who weren’t afraid to show emotion. The ones who could stand in front of their families and cry at a wedding, or tell their kids they love them or admit when something hurt them.
Your son needs to know that wearing his emotions on his sleeve doesn’t make him weak, it makes him human. If he can’t express how he feels, how will he ever handle real relationships? How will he deal with loss, love, fatherhood, or anything that requires actual emotional depth?
Be Kind and Stand for the Right Things
Some parents worry that if they raise their son to be kind, he’ll be too soft, and he’ll be taken advantage of or seen as weak.
But here’s the truth: Kindness is not weakness. Weakness is going along with the crowd because you’re afraid of standing alone. Weakness is staying silent when you see something wrong. Weakness is mistaking cruelty for power.
Being kind doesn’t mean letting people take advantage of you. Personally, it means having the strength to stand for something. It means using whatever power you have to help others, not to dominate them. If your son only learns to protect himself but never others, you haven’t raised a strong man, you’ve raised a selfish one.
A Story That Defines Real Masculinity
I’ve come across a story that matches my points about masculinity and would love to share it with you guys.
“My father is a combat veteran. I was a firefighter. We have no regard for how “manly” that makes us. We both agree my son is to be raised to be whatever he wants to be.
We demand only that he is responsible and accountable to his family, that he helps out in his community, that he applies himself to school, and that he looks out for those weaker than him.
Everything else? Fluff and nonsense. Created by insecure men trying to define what “manliness” is so they can be on the “correct” side of things.
Who he loves, what his profession will be, what religion he chooses, whomever he chooses as a spouse—none of it has any bearing on his “manliness.” He’ll be a real man long before that time comes. I guarantee it.
That’s what real masculinity looks like. Not some performative nonsense about being “dominant” or never showing kindness. It’s about responsibility, community, and knowing that strength is measured not by how many people you can control, but by how many people you can help.”
Takeaway
At the end of the day, manhood isn’t something your son has to perform or to prove. It’s not a test he has to pass by acting a certain way, repressing his emotions, or dominating others. He just needs to be a good person—a strong, kind, and responsible one. That’s it.
Also, guide your son to seek support when needed. Too many men grow up believing they have to handle everything alone, and that struggling in silence is strength. It’s not. If we don’t teach our sons that asking for help is okay, they’ll believe suffering alone is their only option.