No one prepares you for what it means to raise a son.
It’s not just about providing for them or teaching them basic skills—it’s about the example you set every single day.
Whether it’s how you handle challenges, express emotions, or just sit with them in silence, they’re watching.
Here’s what I’ve learned about the things that truly matter when raising a son.
1. Teaching Through Example
We don’t just tell our sons how to treat others; we show them.
Every single interaction becomes a lesson, whether we realize it or not.
It’s in the little things—how we speak to their mom, how we respond when we’re tired, or how we handle disagreements.
The other day at dinner, my son asked my wife for seconds.
She handed him some food, and he looked up at her and said, “Thank you, my darling.”
It stopped both of us in our tracks.
That’s what I call my wife sometimes, and hearing it come out of his little mouth was both hilarious and incredibly sweet.
It reminded me that everything we do and say matters in front of our kids.
We’re the ones teaching them how to interact with the world.
Every word, every action—they’re always watching.
Be excellent to each other my dudes!
2. Emotions Are Fine
Growing up, I didn’t exactly see a lot of encouragement for boys to express their feelings.
But now that I have a son, I’m learning just how important it is to teach him that emotions are normal.
The other day, I was at a friend’s house, and her son was building a block tower.
It toppled over, and he burst into tears.
I thought she might say, “It’s fine, stop crying” but instead, she sat down and said, “That’s frustrating, isn’t it?”
He nodded, and after a moment, they started rebuilding together.
That makes me realize that admitting frustration teaches him that it’s okay to feel and okay to fail.
Real strength comes from understanding your emotions and working through them, not burying them.
3. Letting Go as They Grow
Although my son is still far from his teenage years, I can’t help but think about the chaos that might come with adolescence.
I know it’s going to be a challenging time, full of moments where I’ll question every parenting choice I’ve ever made.
Especially after a conversation with a friend of mine who has a 14-year-old son.
He shared something that stuck with me.
When they’re young, you feel like the slightest mistake will set them on the path to the dark side.
That’s not always going to be the case.
He said the most important thing he’s done is keep communication open with his son.
He said the key has been learning to let go a little as his son grew.
When his son was younger, he used to micromanage every little thing, afraid of making mistakes.
But over time, he realized that what mattered most wasn’t perfection—it was open communication.
By focusing on creating a relationship where his son felt safe to talk to him, he built a connection that lasted into his teenage years.
Now, even when his son faces bigger challenges, they can work through them together.
It made me think about my kids.
Letting go isn’t about stepping back entirely—it’s about trusting that you’re building a foundation of openness and support.
As they grow, it’s less about controlling every moment and more about being there when they need you.
And honestly, that feels a lot more manageable than trying to be perfect all the time.
4. Preparing for Life’s Challenges
No one likes to see their kids struggle.
If I could keep him from every fall or disappointment, I probably would.
But I know that’s not how life works.
The truth is, that he has to face challenges to grow.
I came across a story online about a dad whose son missed a crucial shot during a basketball game.
It was one of those high-pressure moments—everything was on the line, and all eyes were on him.
But the shot didn’t go in.
The boy was devastated, sitting on the bench with his head down, fighting back tears.
The dad didn’t rush in with advice or try to fix the situation.
Instead, he walked over, sat beside his son, and said, “Hey, that was a tough one. Want to grab some cookies on the way home?”
That was it.
No lecture, no overanalyzing—just a simple gesture to let his son know he was there.
Later that evening, the boy brought up the game on his own.
That’s when they talked about how even the best players miss sometimes and how a single shot doesn’t define who you are.
It wasn’t a grand teaching moment, but it was enough to remind his son that he wasn’t alone and that it was okay to feel disappointed.
Reading that story made me realize how often we, as parents, feel the need to fix everything.
But sometimes, the best thing we can do is be there, let them sit with the discomfort, and allow them to feel the sting of disappointment.
That’s how they learn about failing, get back up, and grow into men—not boys forever waiting for someone else to make things right.